New Perspectives

Since I moved here to Kentucky,I've met a bunch of cool people - internationals and Americans both. This job is absolutely amazing. I can't believe just half a year ago I had NO IDEA WHATSOVER what I would do after graduation. Now, here I am... giving this year to God and the nations.

And, as weird as it seems, even though I originally thought it would be a year of giving to Him, I have received so much from Him. He has given me more in the past half year than I could have ever imagined in my finite mind.

He has exceeded my expectations.

The coolest thing God's given me lately is a new perspective of life. New perspectives on an array of ideas - from cultures to ministry techniques to hospitality to community to my definition of "possible" to rethinking my entire personality.

Yes, I feel like a different person has emerged in the past 2 months.

I still have the same demeanor, but He has sanded off some rough edges that had never been touched before. He is causing me to lose some of that characteristic worrisomeness, uptightness, hurriedness, strict adherence to a schedule, constant stress, time-consciousness and tension.

All in all, I used to be like a ball of rubber bands - all bound up and tight, and now God has been slowly picking apart the rubber bands and giving each one of them a rest from the tension.

He is causing me to focus on flexibility and relationship-building.
He is showing me that He is all about people, and He is not about performance.

It is still very weird to not be required to perform at all to impress anyone at all.

Just stop and think about how freeing that is....
No performance, just being.

I’ve always lived in performance mode, pushing myself so hard to fit everything into each day and please everyone who required things from me. My life has been constantly over-regimented since I was about 10 years old. Now, things are much different this year.

I am experiencing a completely different way of life with a freedom I have never before had. It seems that the more I offer "my" time to God (which is His already), the more He orchestrates it into glorifying Him... while also teaching me to be flexible and not to worry. It is definitely nothing I could have taught myself.

This quote by Richard Foster sums up my past couple months perfectly. It's quoted in "Discipleship Essentials":

"For too long we have been in the far country:
a country of noise
and hurry
and crowds,
a country of climb
and push
and shove,
a country of frustration
and fear
and intimidation.

And he welcomes us home:
home to serenity
and peace
and joy,
home to friendship
and fellowship
and openness,
home to intimacy
and acceptance
and affirmation."

He has brought me out of the far country and has welcomed me home.

I lack nothing.